After months of dedicated research, our team of brilliant Scientists have come up with a definitive list of the myriad ways in which marijuana can cause Immediate Death. Cannabis-Induced Immediate Death Syndrome (CIIDS) is an umbrella term for a variety of etiologies that can cause the marijuana addict to become immediately addicted and dead. This isn’t a complete or exhaustive list, as more means of dying are discovered every single day. We will undoubtedly continue to add information to this page, as we’re acquiring more and more knowledge about CIIDS regularly. While there are some universal ways in which “pot” is known to kill its victims, the means of ingestion plays a significant role in the mechanisms of CIIDS. Organized by route of administration, we present to you a list of potential CIIDS mechanisms, all verified under laboratory conditions by our team of Scientists and the cooperation of the DeVry Institute.
General Methods of Death:
- HEART ATTACK: The strong heart stimulant, CBD, when inhaled, insufflated or injected, can accelerate the heart to 500 BPM, resulting in immediate death and addiction.
- RESIN-COATING: The thick “vapor” of THC smoke leaves a coating of “reefer” resin in the lungs of the “pot” smoker, resulting in immediate suffocation, death and addiction.
- ESOPHAGEAL-CHOKING: If not ground to a very fine powder (which is impossible without high-end, lab-quality pulverizers) the “sticky buds” form ionic bonds with the mucous in the sinuses and then travel down the throat, where they accumulate in the esophagus, choking the victim and resulting in immediate death and addiction.
- NECROSIS: Injected “marijuana” has become notorious for producing severe tissue damage, phlebitis and gangrene, sometimes requiring limb amputation in short-term users. The amount of tissue damage is so high that addicts’ life expectancies are said to be as low as two to three seconds, especially as they are often highly susceptible to infections and gangrene due to widespread HIV infection among injecting marijuana users, resulting in immediate death and addiction.
- STOMACH SELF-DIGESTION: Cannabinoids, the dangerous chemicals that cause violence and rage in marijuana, are extremely basic and will react with the hydrochloric acid in the stomach to create a deadly exothermic reaction, similar to that seen when reacting baking soda with vinegar. The compound the forms as a result, hydrocannabichloride, is extremely corrosive on its own, and combined with the stomach’s self-digestion that takes place when the protective stomach acid is reacted away, quickly rots the stomach and neighboring organs, resulting in immediate death and addiction.
These methods of death are toxic, terrifying and tragic, and account for deaths in at least 50% of marijuana users. Those who are lucky enough to escape CIIDS will find themselves burning with rage and violence as the toxic and corrosive cannabinoids cross the blood brain barrier and enter their synapses. With 100% risk and 0% reward, why even “try” marijuana?